The truth is in the details

I have a theory, a pretty cool one, that I use to scientifically demonstrate whether an adult has shared a table during a meal with children under 3 years old.

This theory helps me to see, from a distance and without changing diapers or giving bottles, whether that adult has had more or less continuous contact with those little extraterrestrials we call children.

It is called the Glass Theory.

The experiment simply requires the technique of direct observation while the infant is at the table eating…

You have the individual pause at the table and you see what he does with the children’s glasses… If he pours water into the glass so that it is already full and without the children having asked for it, you have the unequivocal proof: that individual has not dined at a table with any child under 3 years old.

We would call that individual a NO.SH.A.CH3 (Not Sharing a Table with a Child under 3).

But, if it is a case of a distracted NO.SH.A.CH3 who does not immediately pour water into the glass, we can still perform one final check to demonstrate the theory. We must wait until the child asks for water and then ask the individual to fill the glass. If he fills the glass to the very top, we have caught him. He is undoubtedly a NO.SH.A.CH3.

But in essence, NO.SH.A.CH3 individuals can be detected without performing either of the two tests described. It is not necessary to observe them during the meal; we can simply use a scale to weigh the plate before dinner and then weigh it after.

If the plate weighs more at the end of the meal, we have just scientifically demonstrated that that adult is a NO.SH.A.CH3.

It may sound silly, and it is, but I assure you it happens quite often.

I suppose those of you with children recall instances when kids have thrown their glasses in the air because someone did not take into account that a full glass of water on a child’s table will fall just as surely as the sun rises every day.

And I’m sure there are many other scientific proofs to certify that an adult has not been “contaminated” with the way of life of someone under 3 years old.